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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579790">Just Coffee</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/XWingKC/pseuds/XWingKC'>XWingKC</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate SG-1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Veterans Day</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:56:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/XWingKC/pseuds/XWingKC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam visits Arlington National Cemetery for Veterans Day.</p><p>This was inspired by, and then beta'd by the wonderful GWhite. She said to let it go and don't change a word. Some of you may have been through this. You might need a tissue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Coffee</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a surprisingly warm November day in the Nation’s Capital.  She arrived at Arlington National Cemetery early knowing the parking garage would fill up quickly today. She made sure she had dimes and quarters in her pocket. She hung her parking pass and got out of her rental car to grab the backpack with water, a sandwich, and chips. She grabbed her blanket and started to make her way to his gravesite.</p><p>This was the first time in the last 18 years that she’d be here alone. Teal’c could not come back this year. Rya’c had another baby and Teal’c wanted to be there with his son and his family. Daniel couldn’t come because he was visiting Sarah in Egypt on her new exhibit. Mark and his family couldn’t make it over. This year would be extraordinarily hard on her. Coming here alone was something she had not done before. </p><p>She arrived early enough that as she walked from the garage, she could already see the Secret Service walking around and taking their places for the Presidential motorcade, which would be there in about 30 minutes. She made her way to her dad’s gravesite. It took her about 20 minutes to walk there. She placed a dime and a quarter on his headstone. She put her blanket down in front of the grave and sat for a while with her dad.</p><p>She stared at the infinity emblem of belief on his stone. She remembered having the conversation with him about it. He felt it best represented all beliefs of the many people he had encountered in his military life, as well as his life with the Tok’ra. She couldn’t argue his logic. </p><p>“MAJ GEN JACOB CARTER,” she read the gravestone marking out loud. The tears came.</p><p>“Dad. God, dad. I miss you. I still miss you,” she said, wiping the tears away. “I don’t have anyone with me this year. It’s been seven years since...dammit. Dad. I’m sorry.”</p><p>She sat there crying, not wanting to have to get up to go to the next gravesite. It still hurt. She wondered if it would ever stop hurting. She cried some more with her dad. She inhaled deeply.</p><p>“Well, I’m going to be 65 next month. Can you believe it? I can’t. Your baby girl is getting old,” she said with a laugh. Tiny snot bubbles came out of her nose when she laughed.</p><p>“And messy, apparently,” and she blew her nose and looked back at her dad’s grave. </p><p>“I miss him, dad. I wish he had more time. I guess I should get over there,” she said, but didn’t move. </p><p>“I love you, daddy. I’ll see you next year, OK?” she said through her sniffles and tears. </p><p>She kissed his gravestone, and rearranged the dime and quarter so they were both heads-up. She folded her blanket and started the 10 minute walk to her next and final stop of the day.</p><p>She walked through the rows and rows of headstones. Families and widows and widowers were already camped out in front of their loved ones graves. She wiped her eyes again, trying to stop the tears, but today she could not stop the tears. She’d never had to walk this alone before. Her heart hurt like it did that day when she held him until his last breath. </p><p>Her body started to shake when she was three graves away. When she saw his name, she fell to her knees in front of him and sobbed until she stopped shaking. It felt like she was letting go all over again. She wasn’t the only one wailing in Arlington that day.</p><p>After she composed herself a little bit, she laid the blanket back down in front of him. She took the dime and quarter out of her pocket and laid it on top of his stone. Then she sat cross-legged on the blanket in front of him. </p><p>“LT GEN JACK O’NEILL,” she read his stone as she always did. She traced his name with her fingers.</p><p>“I hope you know how much I love you,” she said, letting her tears fall again. “I came alone this time. I’m so sorry. But, Teal’c is going to be a grandfather again. Daniel might have gotten back together with Sarah. Yes, I know. Again,” she said, trying to laugh. </p><p>“And no. I’ve not even considered dating again. I know what you said. But I can’t. Dammit,” she said, her voice breaking as she wiped the tears away. </p><p>“Jack. I miss you. I wanted more time. Eighteen years flew by too fast. And now even seven years after you have been gone, I want you back. I miss your hugs. I miss your eyes. I miss your hands. I’m forgetting what you smell like,” she said sobbing, touching his name again, and letting the tears flow again.</p><p>“I wake up sometimes and still reach for you in bed. Sometimes I swear I see you walking down the hall at home. I can hear you answer my dumb questions. I want to feel your breath on me again. I want to hold you through your nightmares again. I want to make coffee with you, and have you tell me I’m doing it wrong. I want you to leave the damn toilet seat up and not flush. I want to fight and argue with you again. Jack, why?” she prostrated herself on her blanket and cried. No one around her cared. They were all doing the same thing.</p><p>She must have cried herself to sleep because she woke up and her watch said it was 30 minutes past when she wanted to be out of there. She sat up and ran her hands through her hair. She got her backpack and grabbed a bottle of water and her sandwich.</p><p>She ate her sandwich in silence, staring at his gravestone. She washed the last bits down with the water.</p><p>“Thank you for taking a nap with me, Jack. Oh, that sounded bad didn’t it?” and she giggled, a real laugh, for the first time today. “I didn’t mean,” she cut herself off with more laughter. Her laughter must have carried, because she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head around to find Daniel standing there.</p><p>“Daniel! I thought you were in Egypt!” Sam saw Sarah and Teal’c behind Daniel. “Oh my god, you guys, how? Why?” She hugged them all tightly.</p><p>Then Sam saw one more person standing with her friends.</p><p>“Oh, hi,” she said, reaching her hand out to shake. “What are you doing here?” she asked.</p><p>“I’m, uh. I’m visiting my wife. I saw Daniel and Teal’c as I was walking back to my car, but they invited me. I hope that this is OK?” he said, looking into Sam’s eyes.</p><p>“Oh. I didn’t know. I’m very sorry,” she said nervously.</p><p>“It’s OK. It has been three years now,” he said.</p><p>Sam lowered her eyes, and wiped any remaining tears away. She motioned with her hand to the gravestone behind her.</p><p>“Seven for us,” she said quietly. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Sam. I really am.”</p><p>“What are you all doing here?” Sam asked, trying to smile, and trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>“We knew you’d be here today and I guess we wanted to surprise you. This year we wanted to give you some alone time with Jack without us hovering like eagles,” Daniel said, taking Sarah’s hand into his. Sam smiled at them.</p><p>“Thank you. Teal’c, how’s the new grandbaby?” Sam asked.</p><p>“She is wonderful, GeneralCarter. Looks like her mother,” Teal’c said.</p><p>“T, c’mon. Sam. Remember? Just Sam,” she said smiling at him. </p><p>Teal’c raised his eyebrow at her, and gave her his customary bow. It did not go unnoticed as her use of words that Jack used to use. </p><p>“Of course, SamanthaCarter,” he said with his ‘Teal’c smile’. It made Sam smile. </p><p>Everyone looked at her when she smiled. They all seemed to have let out a breath none of them knew they were holding. She had a few more tears escape, and she wiped them away.</p><p>“I’m almost done. Do you all want to meet up at El Paso in Springfield?” she asked. It was one of her favorite places to eat. The endless chips and salsa were worth the trip alone.</p><p>“Sure, we can do that. We’ll see you soon, Sam,” Daniel said, and the three of them walked away, leaving the visitor standing with Sam. </p><p>“You are welcome to join us, too,” Sam told him.</p><p>“Thank you. I think I will. How long are you in town for?” he asked.</p><p>“Two more days,” she said.</p><p>“Would you like to get coffee with me before you leave?” he asked.</p><p>She looked uncomfortable and didn’t know how to reply. She looked back at Jack’s grave.</p><p>“I don’t know, Malcolm. I just,” and she didn’t know what else to say.</p><p>“I know it’s hard Sam. Believe me. I do. But it’s just coffee. I promise.”</p><p>“Can I think about it?”</p><p>“Of course you can. I’m going to head back to the visitor center to give you some more privacy. Thank you for the invite to lunch. I’ll see you soon,” he said, smiling at her.</p><p>She watched him leave, then sat back down with Jack.</p><p>“Well, what do you think about that?” she asked. “You remember Agent Barrett? I told you when he fell on top of me that one time, and then that one time he asked if I was single? I had to turn him down then, because I had you. Now he wants to have coffee. How do I do this? Do I want to do this? Jack,” she said and stopped.</p><p>She remembered some of his last words to her.</p><p>“Sam, I just want you to be happy.” </p><p>“It’s fine if you find some young man to be with. I don’t expect you to be celibate the rest of your life. Look at you,” he said, running both his hands down her chest, and grabbing on to her breasts. He’d always been a breast man with her. That had made them both laugh. </p><p>“We will always have these years together. No one can take that away.” </p><p>“I love you, Samantha Carter. I always have,” he said softly as she held him. “My heart may not physically work anymore, but my heart will always be yours. Always.”</p><p>A few hours later he was gone.</p><p>Sam swore she heard Jack tell her it’s fine to go have coffee with Malcolm. But could she? She had male friends in Daniel and Teal’c. They’d never been romantic. Not that she intended on getting romantically involved with Malcolm. It was just coffee.</p><p>She met her friends for lunch. She ended up sitting next to Malcolm and Sarah. Lunch was a wonderful time of reminiscing and talking in code about some of their missions together. She found herself laughing, and even laughed at some of the things Malcolm was talking about. </p><p>She paid for lunch for all of them and they walked to the parking lot. She said her goodbyes to Daniel, Teal’c, and Sarah. </p><p>“So,” she said to him.</p><p>“So,” he replied. </p><p>“Um, how about the Starbucks on the corner of Union and King in Old Towne?” she asked him.</p><p>He smiled at her statement, and shook his head affirmatively. </p><p>“I’d like that very much. And it’s really just coffee,” he said with a smile.</p><p>“Just coffee,” she repeated, smiling, but averting her eyes. </p><p>“Eight O’Clock work for you?” he asked. </p><p>“Sure. See you then,” she said, and they both turned to go to their cars. Sam stopped and turned back to him.</p><p>“Malcolm,” she said. He turned to look back at her, thinking she was going to cancel. She paused a moment before she spoke. </p><p>“Thank you. For today. It was nice to see you again. And I really am sorry about your wife,” she said.</p><p>Malcolm smiled back at her. He gave her a short salute and nodded his head.</p><p>“Thank you. See you tomorrow, Sam,” he said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't believe I forgot to add this in here. The coins on a military gravestone have specific and significant meaning. I have done this and left my pennies behind. </p><p>A penny on a grave means someone stopped by to visit.</p><p>A nickel on a grave means that the person visiting the site trained at boot camp with the deceased veteran.</p><p>A dime on a grave means the person visiting served with them in some capacity. </p><p>A quarter on a grave means that the person who left the coin was with the veteran when they were killed.</p><p>I did take the liberty to include normal death as a means to place a quarter. I think most of us do that as well. Sam was with her dad and Jack when they passed, so she left a dime and quarter for each of them.</p><p>And for those wanting to see what a Presidential Motorcade looks like coming into Arlington National Cemetery, this was November 11, 2015. Obama was on the opposite side of the car from us. Biden was on our side. I do have a still photo of it, but I cannot find it. I'll have to ask my friend for it.</p><p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/3jHOG5bH0YI">Presidential Motorcade November 2015</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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